Joke of the day.
+21
Philg
Crackers
kyles
hell raiser
Ltd van
Vannin
Ramble
vanner065
Big Bunny
fallingbear
soundman
Tweaker
alien8
DD.165
Monk
Ben79hz
Devilsgrip
mazdragon
catbug
CURSED
highwaymenace
25 posters
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Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
The Hypnotisit
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night.
He hypnotised seven men then dropped the microphone on his foot and yelled, “F#&k me!!”
….what happened next, will haunt me forever!!
He hypnotised seven men then dropped the microphone on his foot and yelled, “F#&k me!!”
….what happened next, will haunt me forever!!
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
Re: Joke of the day.
karma sutra possition 57: The pirate....
begin in normal doggy possition.
just before you are ready to climax , pull out then spit on her back so she belives you are finished.
when she turns around , let your load loose in her face to shock and amaze her.
known as 'the pirate' because she will innevitably place one hand over her eye and say "ARRRGH!"
begin in normal doggy possition.
just before you are ready to climax , pull out then spit on her back so she belives you are finished.
when she turns around , let your load loose in her face to shock and amaze her.
known as 'the pirate' because she will innevitably place one hand over her eye and say "ARRRGH!"
kyles- Posts : 36
Join date : 2010-01-31
The Pen1s Poem
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
>From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the &*&(&%$ thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
>From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the &*&(&%$ thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
mazdragon- Posts : 1973
Join date : 2008-08-14
Location : somewhere on the planet in my den
Re: Joke of the day.
A Black baby is given a set of wings by god
He Asks , God does this mean l’m an angel ?
God laughs, Of course not you silly black bastard,
you’re a blowfly
He Asks , God does this mean l’m an angel ?
God laughs, Of course not you silly black bastard,
you’re a blowfly
Air travel
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back,relax and...... OH, MY GOD !'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom. 'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled...
'For f*#k's sake ...... you should see the Back of mine!!!'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom. 'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled...
'For f*#k's sake ...... you should see the Back of mine!!!'
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
My wife, 5 horses
This is mythical and deep... truly beautiful...
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied.... "She called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean .. . .
. . . NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied.... "She called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean .. . .
. . . NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
Re: Joke of the day.
so that means Dorothy in Indian means 5 horses,, cool thanks for sorting that out for me Geoff.
Re: Joke of the day.
Not touching that one
My wife must be 10 horses then. (looking nervously over my shoulder)
My wife must be 10 horses then. (looking nervously over my shoulder)
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
Re: Joke of the day.
Yeah,,its a pretty good YOKE......HAHAHAHAHAHA I know, Iam sad
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
Re: Joke of the day.
yes, u are all sad and just remember, that 5 horses is also the mother of your children and can withhold sex till further notice ..... be careful what you say... us girls talk!
mazdragon- Posts : 1973
Join date : 2008-08-14
Location : somewhere on the planet in my den
Re: Joke of the day.
when do girls not talk?
Philg- Posts : 4
Join date : 2010-04-27
Location : Mornington Peninsula Vic
Re: Joke of the day.
good call!
i know i should be taking the girls side here but dude , that was my first real laugh all day!
i know i should be taking the girls side here but dude , that was my first real laugh all day!
kyles- Posts : 36
Join date : 2010-01-31
Re: Joke of the day.
mazdragon wrote: be careful what you say... us girls talk!
And talk and talk and talk and talk and taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
Re: Joke of the day.
ever listened in on a guys conversation???? it's amazing what they'll talk about.... and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.....
mazdragon- Posts : 1973
Join date : 2008-08-14
Location : somewhere on the planet in my den
Re: Joke of the day.
they dont talk about us do they????..........
kyles- Posts : 36
Join date : 2010-01-31
Re: Joke of the day.
kyles wrote:they dont talk about us do they????..........
Talk?..I could write a book
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
Re: Joke of the day.
why waste paper when you can talk.....
mazdragon- Posts : 1973
Join date : 2008-08-14
Location : somewhere on the planet in my den
Re: Joke of the day.
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
The new iTitt will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining
about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
The new iTitt will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining
about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
this ones a bit lame but the best i got at the moment
Penguins
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life..
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird
to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"
"Then they kick him in the ice hole."
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life..
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird
to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"
"Then they kick him in the ice hole."
Ramble- Posts : 566
Join date : 2009-02-23
Location : mid nth coast nsw
Re: Joke of the day.
The geniuses at Nikon have developed a brand new, commercially available camera with an ultrasonic shutterspeed for capturing those amazing, once in a lifetime shots.
The developers claim the shutter speed is so fast that it can even catch a photo of a female with her mouth shut.
The developers claim the shutter speed is so fast that it can even catch a photo of a female with her mouth shut.
Shagginwagon82- Posts : 374
Join date : 2008-08-14
Age : 41
Location : Western Sydney
Re: Joke of the day.
that was developed years ago... you're way behind.... did you know that the shutter speed is also so fast, it can catch a man not playing with his balls???
mazdragon- Posts : 1973
Join date : 2008-08-14
Location : somewhere on the planet in my den
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